


Blue

by cecewho



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Colors, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Modern AU, Painting, Romance, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, sinesthesia, soulmate colors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5629138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecewho/pseuds/cecewho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first color they see is blue. </p><p>[soulmate!au where you see colors only when you meet your soulmate. Modern!au]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Introduction

 

It is said that when you meet your soul mate you will see colors.

The first color that Merlin ever sees is _blue_. At least he thinks it's blue, he has never seen blue before, but he has studied it and he knows that blue sounds like Für Elise by Beethoven.

If the man in front of him, with _blond_ hair and a _black_ suit with a _red_ tie, was just another nobody then his eyes would have been of a dark grey, just like everything else around him for his last 20 years of life, but they are _blue_. Blue like the blue sky he can now clearly see. Blue like the girl's dress who is crossing the road. Blue feels like home. Like safety. Merlin suddenly needs to talk to the man. His soul mate.

The man is looking at him. Staring at him with a pale face. He has let his drink fall. The drink is _brown_. Merlin is just standing there. Staring trying to memorize every detail of the man in front of him. The way his tie is tucked inside his jacket. The black shiny shoes that are now full of tiny drops of his coffee. The way his blond hair fall on his forehead with studied confusion. The slightly pink blush that's spread out on his cheeks.

Merlin moves. The man flinches away. Merlin stares. The man runs away down the opposite road. The coffee on the ground is all that's left.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

CHAPTER 1

  
All Arthur can see when he closes his eyes is _blue_. A dark shade of it. A profound one. There are so many colors around him now but all he sees is that damned unique blue.

He runs. Colors moving all around him. He can't even start concentrating on one that there is a new one.

Red. Orange. Purple. Green. Blue.

  
Blue eyes.  
Dark hair.  
Pale face.  
Pink lips.

  
The man in front of the coffee shop is flooding his thoughts. The man who made him see colors. He knows what that means but he will never admit it to himself. Soulmates only bring pain. He knows that too well. He can't have a soulmate. Not now. Not ever.

  
He tries to forget. He shakes his head and tries instead to remember Gwen's happy face. Gwen's grey happy face. Grey. Nothing is grey anymore. Well the road is. And the pavement. And the palaces. Good enough. Grey means safety. He knows grey. He has always known grey. Grey is his world. This will not change for one unknown man met on the streets. But colors are so inviting, and strange and beautiful. He looks around and the world looks new. Inviting. Promising. A world were his life hasn't been already planned out. But this world feels like an illusion.

 

He runs and runs and runs. And he sees the _red_ busses running even faster right next to him. In his dizzy state he realizes he has arrived home. His house is _white_ , the door of a dark _brown_ and on a window there are some _blue_ flowers from Gwen's shop. He slides his keys from his pocket, admiring for a second the shiny grey color that reminds him of his previous world.

He gets in leaving his shoes near the umbrella stand and then he freezes. He brings a hand to his cheek and he slowly lets it slide down toward his neck. In front of him there is a mirror. He sees his face full of colors. He sees for the first time in his life what his face truly looks like. He sees himself pale. He starts to remember his parents speeches where they described his face but at the time all the words were empty, he didn't know what blue or pink or golden were. Now it makes sense. And he sees that his eyes are also blue but of a lighter shade then the blue of the man from the coffee shop.

  
He can't let Gwen know that he sees colors now so he tries to recompose himself. He fidgets with his fringe, trying to forget the shadowed yellow that's painting it, and he enters the kitchen. Gwen is there. Smiling, looking up from a book on her lap. Gwen's face is of a light brown, her eyes are brown and so is her hair. She is wearing a _green_ dress.  
Good.  
She is nothing like the pale man with the _blue_ ruined shirt and the _red_ neckerchief that's haunting his thoughts.

  
"Hello Arthur, how was your day?"

  
_Well I met my soulmate, I'm now seeing colors, and I'm really freaking out because this is all new and I'm not sure if I like it. Did I mention that I should probably start dating him now? Oh and did I mention the he is a man? Oh yeah I nearly forgot I'm bi, you know my dad can't accept a gay son so I'm obliviously with a woman. So yeah, I'm really confused right now, but how are you?_

  
"It was good thanks, what about yours?"

 

* * *

  
Merlin doesn't understand. His soulmate, the man who he was naturally promised to, had just run away leaving him behind like dirt. 

  
Maybe he already has a soulmate, sometime these things happen. Maybe he is already married. Maybe he is just not his soulmate.

But that's impossible. He has seen the man's look. The shocked face. The huge wide _blue_ eyes. He is sure that his expression had mirrored his own.  
So there is only one possibility left:

  
His soulmate is just a prat who left him on the streets.  
But he really wants to see that prat again.

  
He is still there standing where he has left him. Everything is too much to move.  
When he chose to study art at university because of his 'condition' he had never thought that colors would be so beautiful. Of course his faculty was not popular at all, only frequented by people who had already found their soulmate or people who loved art in general. Until that moment he had been part of the second ones but he is now both things. 

A soulmate. _He_ has a soulmate. 

He just can't seem to understand the concept. Everyone has a soulmate but only a few people are able to find their own. And Merlin has found him. And he has left Merlin.

  
The dark haired man slowly starts to move again. He looks around and tastes this new world. He really does like it better. He looks inside Starbucks, the coffee shop on his right with the bright _green_ sign, and he gets an idea. He slowly walks near the cup. Fear and hope fighting to get a grip on his heart.  
He turns the cup.  
Arthur.  
He says the name out loud. A smile on his lips. Arthur his soulmate.  
He decides to keep the cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is actually first chapter (still short I know). I'm so happy that you guys liked the introduction I would have never thought that it would get so much attention!! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ANYONE WHO LEFT A COMMENT/KUDO/BOOKMARK/OR EVEN READ IT I LOVE YOU!  
> Please do on of those things because they really do help me ^_^  
> Let me know what you think!  
> Cece


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 2

 

That afternoon Merlin goes home and paints. His flat is not really big. A small humble thing with white walls and some pieces of furniture he got from his mother's house. The only thing that Merlin really likes is the living room where he keeps his painting equipment: his easel, brushes, colors of all kinds and a stereo. That's probably the most expensive stuff he owns.  
He sets a new canvas, and he starts to sketch what he remembers of Arthur. When he is finally satisfied with his line art he switches on the stereo and Queen's It's a hard life starts playing. His mind explodes with colors. Different shades drifting through his brain. Notes meet tints and they fit perfectly. He lets his hand move freely on the canvas creating new patterns with the thick acrylic colors he is using. Half an hour later he is done.

  
The painting is really colorful. The strongest tint is red which is covering a big portion of Arthur's body and part of the background. The sky behind the figure is purple with many spots of pink and yellow. There is some black. A bit of orange. But the thing that can be seen the most are the electric blue eyes that show off in the man's face.

  
Merlin stares at the painting for a long time, examining it, just like he did when he met Arthur in real life.

  
In the end he puts it away, hiding it behind a closet. He starts to go through all his painting for his exhibition on Saturday. Some of the students in his class had been chosen to expose some of their works in a gallery in two days and Merlin is one of them. He has seven paintings and various sketches and studies. There is even a small sculpture that took forever to make. He is starting to consider if he should add something more when there is a loud knocking on his door.

  
"Merlin! Open up mate!"  
"Hello Will." He opens the door with a swift movement making Will, who has been leaning on it, falls at his feet. He makes a protesting noise but in a second he grabs Merlin by the knees and he brings him down too. In the end they are both laughing sprawled on each other. Merlin's laugh subsides when he looks at his childhood friend's face and sees it all red with laughter and follows the strange patterns of his dark blond hair.

  
"Merls? You alright? You're staring at me like you've seen a ghost." William says smiling. 

"Yeah I'm fine don't worry, just a bit tired." Answers Merlin with his usual cheerful tone, as he starts to rise from the floor.  
"Of course you're tired! All you do is paint and work nonstop, why don't you take a break and I'll show you the pleasant things in this world?" Will is smirking cheeks still flushed.  
"Will you know that's not all I do! I'm just busy with the gallery thing in this period." Merlin starts to take out their usual cups (one blue and one green) and he puts on the kettle.  
"Yeah. This period. I'm sorry Merlin, when was the last time you got laid?" Will gets the tea bags and he sits down on a chair next to Merlin who lets out a strangled "Will!" at his friend's last sentence.  
"But it's true! Listen just because that freak Kilgumball, Kilgalter-"  
"Kilgharrah."  
"-Kilgharrah whatever, just because that man kinda read your future and told you that you would meet your soulmate and stuff that doesn't mean-"  
"Will."  
"That doesn't mean you just can't get laid, like come on you're 20! You need to enjoy-"  
"Will."  
"You need to enjoy your life, you just can't keep doing this-"  
"Will! Can you listen to me for a second?!"  
"What?"  
"I see colors."  
"You see what?!"

  
¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥

It's the day after the coffee shop event and Arthur nearly has a panic attack when he wakes up to a blue bed at 6 am to go to work. He works for his father's company even thought he has not seen Uther for at least two months and even then it wasn't a pleasant conversation the one they had, it sounded a lot more like a business meeting.

  
He slowly gets up, being careful not to wake up Gwen who is still peacefully sleeping on the other side. He gets ready and chooses a black suit with a black tie, in a pitiful attempt to forget about the colors that surround him.

  
He hates his job, but it's well paid and if he didn't accept it his father would have probably disowned him. It's not like he has a choice. Every day is the same. He arrives and goes behind his computer in his own private office. It's boring and there is nothing to do. But this leaves him time to do the things he likes. Well, things, there is actually only one thing. Which is writing.  
He has been working on a book for a while now. It doesn't have a title. The plot is not complete. But Arthur knows what he wants it to be. An adventurous romantic story set in medieval times.

  
He loves writing. It's a way to switch his mind off from his troubled life. He can express his feelings and let out all of his emotions. But he can't do it. Uther would kill him if he knew. Writing is not a real job he said to young twelve year-old Arthur with a slurred voice when the kid had brought him the tale he had written at school. It will not bring you anywhere. Real men don't write. This is shit Arthur! Do you think this will bring you anywhere in life?

  
Not really.

  
No.

  
But this won't stop him. After all his father doesn't have to know. Actually no one has to know. That's why Arthur uses these private hours to write. Not at home with Gwen. He doesn't tell the story to his friends at the pub. He doesn't sit on park's benches with a small notebook and pen to write down ideas.

  
This is personal. He keeps it to himself. Scared of another rejection like the one from his father.  
Suddenly the phone on his desk rings.  
"Arthur Pendragon."  
"Morgana Pendragon, you idiot, why all the formality?" Says his sister with an ironic tone.  
"Morgana, this is the phone I use for work, why don't you call me on my mobile?" He sighs already dreading a conversation with the woman.  
"Well I did, I actually did it 3 times but you mister 'call me on my mobile' have not answered once." Arthur lets out a frustrated remembering that he had left his phone on silent. He unlocks it and starts scrolling down the new notifications while asking his sister what she wants.  
"I just wanted to remind you, that tomorrow at 7 pm I'm going to inaugurate my new art gallery and you are coming." She says in a voice that means 'you come or I'll skin you in your sleep'.  
"B-but Morgana! I-"  
"You nothing Arthur, you told me you would come last week so now you will." He can actually hear the distress in her voice and he feels a bit bad, after all she did come to his last football match.  
"I'll be there don't worry."  
"Thank you." She says and Arthur can even see her smile. After some more chatting he hangs up.  
He is not really fond of art. It's not really his thing. He doesn't understand it. But he can now see colors so maybe he will enjoy it more.  
After all it's going to be a two-hour matter. What can go wrong? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind Merlin* hello! I'm so sorry I haven't been posting much, but yeah I've gone through a pretty shitty period...but now I'm back! So, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS AND REVIWES AND CAN'T BELIEVE THIS YOU GUYS ARE AWSOME. As I was saying I would have never thought that you would actually like this story so hey thank you so much!  
> So this was chapter two and I really hope you liked it, I'm already working on chapter three and it hopefully will come sooner than this one.  
> Thank you again so much  
> And hey if you want leave a kudos or a review, those keep me going!


	4. Chapter 4

 

CHAPTER 3

 

Merlin is exhausted after explaining to a quite angry Will what happened. After telling his entire story out loud he actually realizes how miserable he feels. 

What's the point of colors if he can't share them with his soulmate? 

He actually feels like crying but he doesn't want to in front of Will, and his friends, probably sensing his sadness, starts to calm down and leaves telling him to call in case he needs him. Merlin just nods, goes to bed and doesn't dream. 

 

The next day he is up early for a painting session. They are in seven, and they all look in their natural habitat.  The room they are in is white with blue window sills. The easels are set in a circle and at the center there is a woman covered with a sheet. They have one hour to do a portrait of the woman. Merlin ends up doing it in charcoal. Freya on his left is doing a beautiful watercolor, with delicate tints. She can see colors, but her soulmate died in a car crash a year after their meeting. Seeing colors is a curse for her, being a continuous reminder of her lover's death. 

"Freya can I just ask you something?" Mutters Merlin while they are going to the cafeteria after the hour is over. 

"Yeah sure." Freya is a really introvert girl, she doesn't trust a lot of people, but she seems to really like Merlin. 

"I-I've actually met my soulmate.."

"But Merlin! That's wonderful!! Who is he? Or goodness is he a she?" 

"No, he is a he, don't worry, his name is Arthur. But there is a problem...He left me." Merlin stares at the floor worrying his lower lip. 

"What?"

"When I met him on the streets and we started seeing colors he just ran away and left me. I don't know what to think Fre, I-what- I know it pains you to talk about James, but what did you do? I don't know what to do...and you're the only one who can actually understand me." Merlin is looking down the entire time, his cheeks flushed.

"Merlin, listen, please look at me. When me and James were together, it wasn't always easy, we fought, we broke up, but eventually we would always get back together. Believe me, I'm sure you will meet Arthur again, probably sooner than you think. You see...soulmates are like two sides of the same coin and one side cannot hate the other one. It just can't. No matter how far you go. How much you try. You just can't leave him behind. So hey don't worry and keep those eyes open, in case you see him around yeah?" Freya is smiling in a reassuring way, and Merlin thinks the colors around him have just got brighter. 

"Thank you Fre, that actually really helped...so talking about the gallery, are you excited? What pieces are you bringing?"

They end up talking about the incoming gallery for the entire lunch, and that afternoon Merlin offers to come over Freya's house to help her finish the frames.

 

"What do you think you're doing?! Be careful! That is a really fragile thing!" Merlin is screaming at the man who is brining his sculpture. 

"Listen mate, why don't you bring your own fucking things uh?" Says the man dropping in Merlin's hands his art work. Merlin curses the man under his breath and goes towards the part of the room where all his paintings are. He sets the sculpture on its pedestal and checks one last time all the etiquettes under the paintings. 

"You know that the gallery is going to open tonight right? You still have time." Merlin turns startled and in front of him there is a woman of his age, dresses impeccably. 

"Um, yeah is just wanted to be sure that everything was in place." 

"Your works are really surprising, Mr..?"

"Emrys, Merlin Emrys."

 "A pleasure to meet you. I'm Morgana Pendragon, I'm organizing the gallery."

"Then it's my pleasure to meet you! Thank you so much for this amazing possibility."

"Oh please, I really love organizing these things, they let new artists like you get the recognition they should have. I'm also a huge fan of art myself, on the contrary of what my family says, I think that art can communicate more than words sometimes." Morgana is staring at his paintings while talking and Merlin feels warmth spread inside of his chest. 

"Well, it's not for everyone." And they both know he is not only referring to people's tastes but also to the fact that not everyone can see colors. Morgana all of sudden seems tense. 

"No it's not. Well have a good day Mr Emrys, I'll see you tonight." Morgana walks away, her high heels making loud clicking sounds that echo in the big room. All of sudden Merlin feels extremely anxious about the situation. It's the first time that he freely lets people he doesn't know look at his paintings and the fear of comments invades his mind. 

What if they don't like them?

What if they don't understand them?

_What if they think he is a freak?_

_Freak._

He remembers the kids from his village shouting it at him continuously. After all poor 9 year-old Merlin didn't know that seeing different shades when music is heard was not normal. Since then he had learned his lesson and he had stopped talking about his 'condition' (as he called it). 

He looks at the room for a few seconds and then he exits, trying to find something to do to keep his mind off those unpleasant thoughts. He slowly walks to Gaius' bookstore. It's a small place, with yellowish walls and shelfs full of even yellower books. He works there when he has time. Gaius is one of his mum's dearest friends and Merlin really likes him too, even though sometimes he does this eyebrow thing which is really intimidating. Gaius is one of the few people who know about his 'condition' but he has never judged him for that. 

When he walks into the shop Gaius engulfs him into a warm hug telling him how proud he is for his exhibition and Merlin finally stops worrying. 

The hours go by fast and in the blink of an eye, it's six o'clock and Merlin needs to get prepared. He takes some deep breathes as he looks at his black suit (really similar to Arthur's but the cheaper version.) He is not really used to wearing fancy clothes, that's why it feels really weird when the suit is finally on. He is wearing the blue tie that Freya has brought him, saying that it matched his eyes. He slowly walks to the gallery, staring at the shiny black of his shoes. 

When he arrives the place is full of artists, anxious to make everything perfect. He shyly smiles at Freya who seems to be fighting with the golden plate under one of her paintings. When it's 7.30 pm the gallery opens and a mass of people gets inside. All of his friends come to congratulate and to hug him and Merlin can't help but smile like an idiot. After things calm down a bit he walks to the far corner of the room and watches the lively room: he can see Freya happily chatting with some girls, his mum and Will seem to be having an hilarious conversation by the looks on their faces and Gaius is looking with interest at some paintings. He can see a bunch of people looking at his works and they are all smiling and pointing. Maybe he can be accepted after all. After looking around for a bit and feeling proud of himself for the first time in years, he goes outside to get some air. 

The city at night looks magical. A deep dark blue is everywhere, but then there are some yellow spots and some orange ones from the lighted up cigarettes that the people around him are smoking. Some of the jewels from the wealthiest ladies are shining brightly. It's a pity that stars cannot be seen. He misses them sometimes. In Ealdor he could see the stars even in the foggiest nights. After sighing at the memories that are flowing through his mind, he is ready to get back inside. He is just turning when a huge crash roars from inside. In a second he is back in the room, and with wide eyes he is scanning everything. Everyone looks pretty shocked and mortified, but Merlin focuses only on two things: his modestly amazing, extremely breakable sculpture lying in pieces on the ground and the dude that's near it. 

"What the fuck?!" All Merlin can see is red. He had worked so hard on the statue and now his work was shattered on the ground. 

"Listen, I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to! I didn't see it! I'm so sorry. I’ll pay you back,  I swear!" As the guy apologizes he turns around and they both freeze recognizing each other. It's him. _Him_. Arthur. 

 

¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~

 

Apparently, a lot of things could go wrong at an art exhibition. First of all he had been late, then he had bumped into an old girlfriend - Vivian- and now this. He had been talking happily with Leon, his best friend, when all of sudden a sculpture was behind him and it was too late to do anything. 

He had silenced the room with a move. A second later the artist had burst into and he sounded angry, obliviously. 

Arthur's shoulders are tense and he decides that it's probably better to apologize first and then to turn around to face the furious man.  And that's what he does, just to be silenced brutally as he sees who the artist is. His fucking soulmate. They stare at each other without speaking a word. The room is silent, only some whispers can be heard. And that's when Morgana, dressed impeccably, emerges from the crowd looking even more angry than the artist. 

"ARTHUR?! What have you done?!" She is so red, just like the color of the sculpture that's now lying on the ground.  

"You both come with me. And can someone please get Mr. Emrys' sculpture off the ground? Thank you, please continue your evening as if nothing had ever happened." 

The second Morgana has got both of them in the little room behind the exhibition, she starts to rant. 

"Arthur what the actual fuck?! Have you gone blind all of sudden?! All I asked you was to come to this thing because it's really important for me and what do you do?! You start destroying pieces of art! I'm so sorry Mr. Emrys, my brother is an idiot, I'm sure he will happily contribute to the remaking of the sculpture, isn't that right Arthur?"

Arthur is so tense and worried that all he can do is nod. 

“Good, I'm sure we will be able to give you whatever sum you need."

"Actually, thank you for your kindness, but I'd like to talk about this with him alone if it's possible, you don't have to worry Miss." 

Morgana gives him a strange look but in a second she is waking out and Arthur can't help but feel his breath hitch in his throat. 

Fuck. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I'm so so so so so sorry. I have no excuse i'm a bad person. So, it's been like a year, so much has happened (ehm 2016 won't you end already?!) and yeah here i am posting! I really want to thank everyone who has followed this fanfic so far or everyone who has left kudos/comments/bookmarks, thank you so much you don't know how much it means. I really wanna say that i'll post soon but we've all seen how that ended for the last chapter, but one thing i'll say: THIS FIC WILL BE FINISHED NO MATTER WHAT.  
> Sorry again, i know i don't deserve it but if you liked it it would be really nice if you could leave a comment or a kudo they really make my day aaaaand that's pretty much it,  
> thank you all and sorry again!  
> Cece *cries behind Merlin*


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 4

 

The dark-haired man in front of him stares at Morgana as she walks out of the room, leaving them alone. Arthur turns and looks at her graceful form too, everything is better than seeing _those_ icy blue eyes again. He gulps, suddenly feeling his throat close up and he really wants to run away. He has never wanted this. He has never wanted a soul-mate, because just like his father used to say, they only bring pain.  Pain and sufferance and grief. There is no love in that kind of relationship, and colors are just not worth it. As he thinks he sees gray and for just one second he misses the bright tints that infested the exhibition. He can remember his father’s words as if they had been told yesterday. 

It was the night of his 9th birthday and his older cousin had come to the party with her newly found soulmate. He remembers how she described each and every shade to him, making him dream of seeing such wonderful things: he wanted to know what it meant when the older girl told him his eyes were blue like the sky.  That night little Arthur couldn't stop talking about colors and soulmates, the only thing that shut him up was Uther’s slap to his face. 

 

_There in nothing good about soulmates. They don’t bring you joy. How can you even love someone you’ve just met? Quit talking shit, Arthur. One day you’ll marry a girl you love and, God help us, let’s pray she won’t be your soulmate._

 

“Hello? Arthur are you there?” The artist is still red-faced and his eyes look electric when Arthur finally raises his head. He must have been calling him for a while because he looks relived when he acknowledges him. The man in front of him looks young, in his twenties for sure, his skin is of an alabaster _white_ , which is in complete contrast with his jet _black_ hair and _dark_ long eyelashes. His lips are _pink_ , like the sky at sunset, and his cheeks are tinted with a pale _red_ , certainly a residue of the anger he has felt before. Arthur can’t help but stare, because all of sudden staring feels so right, actually, _everything_ feels so right all of sudden.

“Wait how do you know my name?” It’s a stupid start and Arthur knows it, but that’s the only thought his color-flooded mind can process at the moment. Even the artist looks taken aback.

“I kept your cup.” Says the man sheepishly. His face suddenly flushes of a dark vermillion and his eyes, _his_ blue _blue eyes,_ leave Arthur’s. He suddenly misses them.

“Well, what’s your name?” He’d do anything to get that heavenly like tint back.

“Merlin, Merlin Emyris.” Merlin - his name is Merlin, his _soulmate_ name is Merlin - extends a thin hand with a slim wrist: it looks delicate for an artist’s hand. 

“Arthur Pendragon.” He grabs the offered limb and everything seems to light up. The colors of the lock room are suddenly brighter and so is Merlin. _Merlin._ His soulmate is looking around, his eyes wide; maybe he is not the only one who saw the change of colors. After a few seconds he lets the hand go and everything feels sadder, lonelier. Arthur now understands what his father meant when he was spitting out those hateful words: having a soulmate means having a bond stronger than anything, it means an absolute dependency on the other person because without them nothing is the same anymore and everything feels empty, worthless. Arthur can’t afford to have that kind of relationship with anyone.

“Listen, it was a pleasure to meet you, I’m really sorry for your sculpture I swear I’ll pay you back whatever sum you need, but I really need to leave.” He needs to _leave_ not only go, he just can’t continue like this. Merlin’s presence is unbearable and right at the same time.

The second the words leave his mouth, the artist’s face falls and he suddenly looks sad, angry and disappointed all at the same time. 

Arthur can’t suddenly breathe.

 

 

¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~

 

Merlin can’t breathe. Air itches in his throat and he can feel tears of frustration gathering in his eyes. Arthur looks once again pale in the dark colors that surround them. He wants to scream, to cry, to punch his goddamned soulmate in the face - he wanders what color the bruises would be - because he is behaving like one huge prat. 

“What the fuck Arthur?! - not the best start but at the moment it’s the best way to express all the turmoil of emotions he feels - First you run from me when we see each other for the first time, then you come here and destroy my sculpture and now you expect me to just let you get away without giving me some kind of explanation!?” All of sudden he becomes smaller, and his eyes meet the floor once more, it’s black and dull, just like he feels.

“I felt a connection, I still feel it. When I’m with you it’s different and the colors make sense. I thought you would have felt the same…at least a bit.” He really feels like crying. Tonight was supposed to be his night, a night of celebration, of handshakes, a good time: now he feels foolish for even _hoping_ in the possibility of such a night.

“I guess I just assumed that since we are soulmate we would have had some kind of connection - Arthur looks down and keeps silent - I guess I was wrong.” He scoffs and turns around, he doesn’t want to see Arthur and his stupid golden locks, or his rosy lips, and most of all his dumb hypnotic azure eyes. He hears him gasp like he has been hit, good. Then a shy hand touches his shoulder. It’s warm and safe and it feels like home, and Merlin feels alright all of sudden. He turns around quickly, eyes wide and mouth open to face Arthur’s hair. The man’s head is leaning down but he can  see that his eyes a shut tightly and his mouth is in a grimace. The lock room is silent. Both of their breaths are quiet and it’s in that silence that Merlin suddenly realizes something, realizes what Freya’s words really mean.

He brings one firm hand over the tanned one on his shoulder, because now he understands. The pain, well masked before, is now clear behind the other’s facial expression and he realizes that maybe Arthur needs time, needs patience and trust, because there is obliviously something under the entire ordeal: people don’t just randomly run from their soulmates.

“Why don’t we meet for a coffee? You know, to start over. We can get to know each other, and maybe you could even tell me what’s so scary about me that you have to run away.” Arthur snorts and Merlin is sure that the sound  is _orange_ and that it makes him happy. The man slowly raises his head and smiles sweetly for a second. Then someone knocks on the door and the serious emotionless Arthur is back.

“Arthur? Are you in there, Darling?” It’s a sweet feminine voice and when the called answers a smiling young woman opens the door. She looks nice and lovely and Arthur blushes as soon as she puts her head in the room. Their relationship is pretty oblivious and Merlin doesn’t know how to feel. It happens sometimes that soulmates already have another partner, it’s not like you could blame them: you only have one soulmate in the entire world, the possibilities of finding them are very thin. He knows all of this yet, the black haired man can't help but feel sad and betrayed. He feels cheated on even though if he and Arthur actually get together the sweet woman will be the one cheated on.

“I’d love that.” Merlin turns surprised towards the blonde with a curious look crossing his face. 

“The coffe, I’d like to get one with you. Is next Monday okay, at, let’s say, 4 pm?” He nods, the new information sinking in his stomach brings more red to his cheeks. 

“Great, see you on Monday then!” He is exiting the room, following his _girlfriend,_ when Merlin realizes they didn't choose a coffeeshop where to meet. He asks Arthur about it. The man ponders for a second stopping halfway through the door. 

“To the Starbucks where we first met, you know, if we need to start over, what better place is there? See ya _Mer_ lin.” 

Arthur is gone half a second later but Merlin has never felt warmer in his life.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *angel choir in the distance* AN UPDAAAAAAATEEE.  
> See? I told you i would have updated soon!   
> I just really want to thank all of you because the response to my last chapter has been crazy. I would have never imagined so much support and love, so yeah, just thank you all, it means so much to me you have no idea.   
> So, now school is starting again and it will be a bit harder to update but i'll try my best ;)   
> Hope you all like this chapter (it took forever to write it) and i hope I'm not too ooc, anyways if you do like it please feel free to comment or leave a kudo they really keep me going.   
> thank you all again,  
> Cece :) <3


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 5

 

Arthur knows he is cheesy. It had been such a chick flick cliché choosing _that_ coffee shop for their meeting, but he doesn’t regret it. After the words had left his mouth Merlin’s face had gone blank with surprise and a huge smile had crept up a second later. Arthur could swear that the blue of Merlin’s eyes had become more alive, and a new light had shone through his irises. Arthur can’t help but smile at the memory. A smiling Merlin, he has discovered, is _much_ better than an upset one. He can still feel the way his heart had stopped and his throat had closed up when Merlin had said those resigned words. 

 

_I guess I just assumed that since we are soulmate we would have had some kind of connection, I guess I was wrong._

 

He had felt a connection, he wants to be his soulmate, but at the same time fear grips Arthur’s heart. He feels terrified at the idea of what a soulmate implies. It’s a scary concept but at the same time it’s the best one he has ever thought about. 

These are the thoughts that are going through Arthur’s mind as he has breakfast with Gwen that Sunday morning. He can’t help but feel a bit guilty. He looks at her. Poor, innocent, lovable Gwen. She is sweet, she has alway been. He had met her when they were children because she was his sister’s best friend. The crush she had on him was pretty oblivious from the start and Arthur liked her. He liked her calmness, he liked her soft words and he liked her sweetness. They had started their relationship six months prior. It was a great relationship, the ideal one for Arthur’s father who was always asking about the marriage date. The only flaw is that Arthur feels off. He is happy, no doubt about it, but he can’t help but see Gwen as his friend. They know each other too well, she knows him too well. Gwen knows everything about her childhood crush and Arthur knows that better than anyone, and that’s why he is not too surprised when she says “You see colors, don’t you?” that morning as she joins him for breakfast. She doesn’t seem upset, she looks at him with those warm, soft chocolate eyes and Arthur nearly wishes she was at least a bit angry.

“How do you know?” It’s useless to hide it. She bites her lower lip before answering.

“The way you look at things, it’s different.” Arthur doesn’t know what to answer. He looks at the table because her calm, sweet eyes are unbearable. 

“I’m not angry, Arthur.”

“You should be.” He says to his tea. He sounds like a child and he feels like one. He feels like his nine-year-old self, so excited and terrified by the entire soulmate business. So lost. 

“Arthur, I’m not and I shouldn’t be angry. Finding your soulmate is…well, I don’t really know how it is, but it must be beautiful. Finding your missing piece, the other half the coin.” She sounds hopeful and happy even. 

“No, it’s not. I-Soulmates are just an inconvenience, yes. Look at me, I found my soulmate and now I’m supposed to go and live with him? I have no idea of who he even is, he could be a murderer for all I know. Instead I’d much rather have a life, a normal life, with you, here, not with some random bloke.” He raises his voice to contrast his thoughts that are filled with blue and wobbly smiles. Gwen stays silent for a second looking at Arthur’s light grey eyes.

“Is that you or your father talking?” Just like Arthur has said before, she knows him too well.

“What does my father have to do with this?!” He won’t give in, he is way too proud for that. 

“Oh, you know very well what I mean Arthur Pendragon. You’re 25, don’t you think it’s about time that you start following your ideas instead of your father’s? What happened to him should not affect your future.”

“But it doesn’t.”

“Except it does.” Her eyes are suddenly hard and he knows she is right, she always is.

 

When his mother, his father’s soulmate, had died 25 years ago a hole was created inside of Uther Pendragon’s heart. The wonderful life he had spent next to his destined lover had suddenly been forgotten and substituted by the pain. Soulmates no longer brought happiness, love, safety and colors, but grief, sorrow, emptiness and misery. Living without the other half was unbearable and this constant ache had created believes in Uther’s mind. Believes against soulmates, because if you didn't have one then no suffering would come to you. 

 

“What if he is right.” Arthur has stayed silent for a long time, thinking about Gwen and Uther’s words.

“You’ll never know if you don’t let yourself go.” When he looks at her there is a huge smile on her face, and Arthur really wants to know what he has done to deserve her. He decides to smile back at her.

“Come on, tell me all about him.”

They end up talking until lunch and Arthur can’t stop smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is short. Uhm I'm really sorry, but i have two good reasons:  
> 1) i really wanted to keep this centered around Arthur's inner turmoil  
> 2) school has started again and i've been super busy but i'm trying!  
> Hope you guys like it, and I hope Arthur's feelings make sense...i'm pretty sure only someone who has gone thorough this can actually understand them but i've tried my best!  
> In the next chapter Merlin and Arthur will have an actually pleasant meeting (ahem date)   
> If you've liked this chapter then please comment or leave a kudo cause they keep me going   
> Lots of love to you all  
> Cece :)


	7. Chapter 7

Epilogue

 

 

 

Monday comes.

Merlin can’t really decide if the time until the awaited date has passed in a blurry, heart-pumping second, or if it’s been years from that Saturday. 

What he does know is that the second he reaches the café and sees Arthur - a red halo in the gray of the city - sitting at one of the tables just outside the shop, his face rosy - maybe the pungent cold of the city should be blamed, but Merlin can’t help but think that he is the reason behind the new color that owns Arthur’s cheeks - and eyes bright from the smile that reaches them, time stops. Every barrier is down and finally it’s just Merlin and Arthur. 

They talk. Their coffees are soon forgotten and they drink each other words. They talk about their lives, passions, dream because it feels right. Arthur compliments Merlin’s art and Merlin lights up when Arthur mentions writing. 

There is silence, the comfortable one. They enjoy each other’s presence and they look at the crowded roads, pleased by the colors that mark every single corner of their visions. 

At some point they realize that darkness has fallen over the city, but it feels just too soon to part so Arthur brings Merlin to a fancy restaurant and between the expensive dark clothes that surround them, the two of them keep talking in their casual outfits. 

When dinner is over and there is just so much more to tell, Merlin takes Arthur to the gallery and leads him between the various pictures, each of them leading into a new world, into a new topic to talk about. 

At last Arthur follows Merlin home because it’s past midnight and they really should have gone back by now. 

“It’s been a good day.” Arthur mutters with his eyes low and cheeks flaming red - for once Merlin doesn't blame the cold of the alcohol behind the tint but his presence alone -. They both know there is so much more behind those words, a new life theirs only to share. Merlin smiles. In a second his lips capture Arthur’s pink ones and he swears that the _black_ he sees as his eyes flutter shut could be the color of love. The kiss is chaste, almost a promise left unsaid, but they don't need words anymore, they have talked enough. When the kiss ends they wish the other a goodnight. Merlin closes the dark brown door and Arthur heads home.

 

It’s been a good day.

 

¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~¥~

 

 

“There is something you’ve never told me.”

“What?”

“You know how you see different colors depending on the sounds you hear?”

“You perfectly know that is called synesthesia.”

“Well you’ve never told me what color my voice is.”

“It’s blue.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is, the very last chapter.   
> I'm kind of sad because well I actually really care about this fanfiction and the idea, and letting it go it's well sad, but i'm happy i've finished it (in only like a year, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN SO LONG IF I WAS LESS BUSY AND PROCRASTINATED LESS). So yeah, I really hope you've enjoyed it, and i really want to thank everyone who has ever commented or left a kudo or read this. from the bottom of my hear, thank you. You have made this an even more amazing journey and I can't thank you enough for this.   
> Okay, I think I'll go now, thanks for stopping by,  
> Cece :)

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's really short but this is more of an introduction ^_^ (I swear the next chapters will be longer) anyways I really hope you liked it (more will come soon) please review it really means a lot to me.


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